I make no mistake of what I do for a living: I’m a writer and editor for a female online magazine. I read up on feminism and understand that misogynist thinking is just as bad as the male equivalent. You almost never think that you’ll meet someone, whose brain-dial has been set backwards in the 1940’s, with the knob twisted off. But it’s almost fascinating when you finally do meet these people; these people do exist.
You never know a misogynist when you see one because they haven’t gotten the word tattooed across their forehead; they don’t wear a t-shirt and release out the pheromones, ‘eau de misogyny’. They’re regular guys from the looks of it until they actually say something to you. They don’t have to outline their beliefs to you because you can hear it in their voices. These are the guys who would give Rush Limbaugh and the male Fox news cast an outta-this-world boner and makes the rest of us stare in amazement like they’re preserved VCR! “Holy S**t, they still make you?!”
How I met this guy is akin to how you’d meet anyone. But regardless of how, it’s the when. When you meet these men or women, you’re caught completely off-guard. The snarky, quick witted comments that come to you so brilliantly on the comments page of some media site vanish as you stand before them; flabbergasted and in awe. It was almost nonchalant, the way he asked me what I did for a living and I thought nothing of it when I told him the type of writing I did. But it was the questionable gaze that he gave me when I explained the answer to his question.
I don’t believe in white picket-fence fairy tales and I’m not interested in having a man ‘rescue me’ from the ‘awful, scary world’ that we all are being forced to live in. And while it may be tempting to some, I’m exactly one-hundred percent that a man isn’t going to want to ‘take care’ of their girlfriend while she plays housewife and makes no other contributions, especially in the world we live in. So, I was forced to look at this guy as he very respectfully informed (lectured, rather) me of the ‘importance’ of finding a proper husband yet in the middle of his lecture, I just kept staring at him; they still make you!? Oh my God, this is, like, real? You’re a relic! A vintage piece of furniture that doesn’t go with anything in a modern house!
My bus arrived and thankfully, he was waiting on another one. I sat on the bus thinking about what he was saying and normally, I can see what sides of an argument people are coming from but, I couldn’t see the world this dude was still living in. I couldn’t fathom living in a world where my only real opinions were a husband and kids; I couldn’t see myself not pursuing my dreams for the life I wanted to live; not having a life that revolved around other people. It was and still is a strange concept, misogyny, to think that women don’t have what it takes to make it in the world without a man; are too weak to do anything for themselves.
I’m not mad at the guy; someone or something will come along and show how society is being shaped now. Maybe he’ll have a daughter who wants to be an astrophysicist or a son, who likes assertive and ambitious women. Hell, maybe he’ll fall in love with an ambitious woman who can’t be tied down to the kitchen stove and doesn’t believe in divorce. I refuse to become angry with a misogynist, for all the wit and quick shots I could give, nothing will enlighten them faster than being punched in the face by feminism at work.